Why I disagree with Segun Adekoye on Ese Walter & Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo sex scandal

I know most of us have read the story of one Ese Walter, who accused Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of sexual and spiritual manipulation. Normally, I would not have said anything about the issue because, if it true what the lady claimed both parties are at fault.

But the write up of one Mr. Segun Adekoya got my ire up so I decided to do something about the issue.

Hope you all have the time to read through the story and see why I totally disagreed with his points Your response to the issue would be appreciated.

When we talk about issues regarding religion we have to be careful, because it is one of the things that fragments our beliefs, our thoughts and our world at large. Much has been destroyed in this world on the basis of religion. Atheism is a form of religion, as is Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism and a horde of thousands of not-so-widely-known doctrines worldwide.

Read more after the cut


You would have read Ese Walter’s open confession on her affair with the senior pastor of COZA, Biodun Fatoyinbo. The matter has been thrown back and forth. Rev. Biodun Fatoyinbo has been flogged severely by comments from people who are thoroughly pissed at him. Ese Walter on the other hands has been reprimanded, comforted and even advised to go for ‘psychoanalysis’ as a particular commenter put it. I didn’t intend to talk about this issue, but I have a thing or two to say on the matter.


1. ‘Men of God’ are still men:
However disappointing this may sound, it is sadly true. Being called a pastor does not take the chromosomes in your DNA and mutate you into an angel. A pastor is a title that can be likened to other political titles like Prime Minister, President and Governor. It is an office that you occupy based on your qualifications be it spiritual, academic, political or moral merits. That a ‘man of God’ is alleged to have been involved in a scathing scandal like this does not make him a “fake man of God’. While the Judas was widely known to have betrayed Jesus, his role or deed did not erase his popular office as being one of Jesus 12 disciples. You can’t mention the 12 disciples without mentioning Judas. This did not warrant him ever being called a ‘fake’ disciple. Any acclaimed clergyman can become the subject of a scandal. These people were not born with wings. Discipline is what drives their office and the decisions to be set apart towards the service of God and humanity.

2. ‘Men of God’ have encouraged people:
I have witnessed the lives of a lot of people change positively because they have had contact with a ‘man of God’. Drug addicts have become better people. Poor, homeless and destitute people have been helped. Young children have had their education sponsored by these men of God. The ‘unbridled and carefree tendencies’ of humanity have been somewhat checked by majority of these people. Open allegations like this destroy other people’s beliefs and faith.
3. Ese Walter was not the abused:

This is what I believe. How can you call one week of non-stop sex, abuse. Abuse is the improper usage or treatment of an entity, often to unfairly or improperly gain benefit. How can she call it abuse when she willingly consented? I am astound by how this confession has become a thing of sympathy. She must have enjoyed whatever she had and wanted more, so she kept going back. Consensual sex is enjoyable.
4. He who is without sin should cast the first stone:

The reason why this is generating so much ire is because he is called a senior pastor of a church. I am forced to wonder if Ese would have made a case on this, if he wasn’t a pastor. If he wasn’t just another rich, married man. I am forced to think about how much she holds marital values and if she had never dated a married man except the pastor. If you’ve never committed fornication before, If you’ve never committed adultery before, if you’ve never cheated on your partner or wife before, cast the first stone.



5. Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo abused his office:

If the allegations are true, then one can say that the ‘man of God’ abused his office, the oath he took and the mantle placed on his hand. He can be said to have used the power of the position for the wrong motives. This has a ripple effect on all other people who occupy the same positions all over the world.

6. There is more than meets the eye:

Hey but you only heard a side of the story and you’re quick to judge. Listen to the other side of coin. Are there things Ese isn’t saying? Are there other things that transpired between them that have not been stated in her epistle? This is only how far you can know.

7. This is not a legal matter:

This is not a legal issue at all, except was on the grounds of rape. The only person that is expected to make a legal action is his wife, and that would be a case of filing for divorce on grounds of mutual infidelity. Ese enjoyed it thoroughly and regretted her actions

8. Religious leaders are the victims:

These are tough times for religious leaders all over the world. They have to watch their speech and thoughts all over the world. If you are a religious leader and you oppose same-sex marriage in America, you are seen as a demented opinionist who needs primary schooling on what human rights are. If you are seen wearing a turban on your head, you are closely watched because you are believed to have affiliations with terrorists all over the world. If you own a large church, you are believed to be deceiving people and using their hard-earned more to ‘live large’. The world believes that religious leaders should take the blow and remain silent even if they are innocent.

8. Go and sin no more:

The deed is done. Ese has regretted her actions. The ‘man of God’ involved is getting all the chastisement of his life. Names have been called. It’s time to move on. It’s not time to form a movement. It’s time to move forward for all ministries involved. Ese should move on with her life. The accused should look for ways to amend the damage and move his ministry forward. He will lose members but some will remain with him.



9. Let the institution be:

That the leader of COZA has faltered does not make the church an unholy place to worship. We must filter the institutions from the servants in the institutions and let them resolve their conflict as mature people. That a country has leaders who mismanage its funds does not make the all the citizens of the country corrupt. The international society and media do not understand this fact as well.

10. Wisdom is profitable to direct:

Just in case there’s another Ese Walter out there who is having an affair with a married man or another ‘man of God’, rather than destroying more than you can create, find ways of resolving the issues or have the courage to move on. What becomes of the Monica Lewinsky’s who try to battle the Clinton’s – nothing. The world moves on. You might be a Dominique Strauss-Kahn for a moment but your shame gets erased someday and tables turn. Whistle-blowing is awesome but you should always do it with wisdom. Wisdom is profitable to direct. Don’t be another Edward Snowden.

Cheers!

Why I disagree with writer, Segun Adekoye......

I have read a lots of stories about the sex scandal involving one Ese Walter and Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of Common Wealth Zion Assembly (COZA ). Ever since Ese opened up about the issue in a write up, she posted on her personal blog, I had refrained from making any comment about the issue because a sensible person knows both parties were wrong especially the said man of God, who should have known better than to get involved in a sex with his church member or anyone one else for that matter. (That is, if what Ese is claiming is true. I, for one want to believe there is more to the matter than meet the eyes or was she paid to do it?)

Ese on her part, if she doesn't have another reason or motive for revealing her part of the story did a good thing which you will find out as you continue with my story. She already blamed herself for what she did and make atonement for her sins as she claimed. She also went as far as talking about it with  people and many of them failed to help her.

What I as a person and woman failed to accept is her claim, that she was abused or manipulated into having sex with the pastor . She was already an adult and from the way she sounded not some spirit koko sister of the lord, who believe her pastor is her small god. She was wise enough to walk out on the man but she didn't do that and no manipulation in that either sexually or spiritually.

From the onset of the whole saga, she must have had the hot pant for the pastor and she must have known something like that would happened when she went to the pastor's hotel and up to his room without a chaperone available. (We all know that someone of us, sometimes fall in love with our pastors even when we know they are married. The difference is how far we want to go about our love)

She sat on his knees, had sex with him, not only once but almost for a year shows she knows what she was doing and she shouldn't tell me or others like me that it was because of the high esteem or fear that she withheld the pastor.

The first time was enough for her to call it quit with him and distance herself from the so call man of god (I used the small g becos that man shouldn't be on the pulpit preaching atleast until, he make atonement with God but sha will dat happen in Naija?) and also know that the man who preaches against fornication, immorality is a fake man of God.

She must have enjoyed the sex and attention so much she got carried away. She must have come back to reality,maybe, when the pastor has had his fill and stop calling her or stop picking hers.

The problem with Ese is/was that when she came back into the country she discovered that Pastor Abiodun Fatoyinbo doesn't have the hot for her again because someone else is warming his bed or he has turned a good leave, which I very much doubt (we all know dating married men is not a forever thing but what made this bad is because Fatoyinbo is a man of God or claimed to be) and that must have hurt so much and she couldn't take it again, she felt used. Her attention in church was not needed again like it used to be and she felt used.

Maybe, she must have had a couple of abortion (God forgive me) for him  or he promised her something which he never did, and the hurt must have been too much for her and she said to herself that she will bring him down by coming out and letting people know all about the pastor. I for one know Ese is not the first and not the last. The only thing I will say Ese did right is to open up and let people know that their pastor and man of God shouldn't be preaching about fornication, adultery on the pulpit, infact he shouldn't be there. Her opening up has allowed many of the people who have experienced this form of things realized they needn't keep blaming themselves alone while the so called men of God kept on living without a concience. Her opening up about the issue, as opened the blind eyes of many (I repeat, that is, if Ese's story are the truth and only the truth) about the life style of the man who is revelled as a man of God by many in and outside his church.

Now to Mr Segun Adekoye write up in defence defence of Pastor Abiodun Fatoyinbo and many other pastors  and supposed men of God, I totally disagree with you. Everything you have said is totally one sided. What do you mean that, Ese should have find another way of resolving the issue than destroying, what she can't create, didn't you read that she tried and she was ignored by the pastor.

You would rather have her keep quite instead of opening up so as to save the pastor from embarrassment, while he keep on decieving people and continues his amorous ways. Adekoye, that is very lame.

 And how can you compare Pastoring to other professions like, Politic, Lecturing, President and others.

Yes, Pastor are human being but yet they are very different from the example of men that Mr. Adekoye mentioned. Married or not, these set of men in those professions, don't have the word men of God attached to their name or called pastors, evengelist, reverend. They are free to do as they please as long as the person involved consented to it.

The moment a man or woman decided to go into the vineyard of the Lord, he leaves the worldly thing aside and if he can't stop being worldly, it better he stop claiming to be man of God or other titles attach to it, instead of decieving people. And when mistakes happened, they should be opened enough about it with their congregation and make atonement and leave the pulpit for a while until restitution is done, that is what makes them different from other men.

To Pastor Fatoyinbo, I for one wonder and still wondering how he does it when his church members come to him for advice about their spouse fornicating or involved in adultery knowing fully well, he does the very thing and even worst except of cause, he only preaches about prosperity.

I read somewhere that he still preached in church today. Things like this only happen in Nigeria. In other places, even though, he did nothing wrong, he would have been ask to step down until investigation is carried out. Bet, no one among the senior pastors in COZA, as the liver to tell him to step down from the pulpit until the whole scandal is solved and everything goes away.

 I read what he said to his member, which for me was nothing. He never address the issue. And, why does he have to wait, until they have a nice way to respond to to Ese in due time.

If he has done nothing wrong, he should have addressed the issue in church today, period. Is he waiting that, in a few days everyone would have forgotten about it? Or Ese's two minutes fame would have disappeared. I for one, want an answer and pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo should make one available, pretty soon.

So, dear Mr. Adekoya, the day Pastor Fatoyinbo put on the garment as a man of God, he leaves all old ways in the past and move on to be a be a new man. A man for God and for the people, who look up to him, as a mn in the presence if God.

Mr. Adekoye, you said the only person that as a case legally his Mrs. Fatoyinbo, I agreed with you on that and that is, if she is ready to divorce her husband but I doubt that. Most Pastor's wife, who find their husband cheating, always keep quiet about the problem. They don't want to loss the security of their mariage especially if the pastor is a rich man or let their members know that mummy too is fighting the same problem they come to her for, for advice. They would rather keep quiet and fight the battle in the comfort of their homes and keep on be call mummy by their church members.

Mr. Adekoye, you talk of people mentioning Judas Iscariot has one of Jesus Christ disciple in the bible. You wrote (If I got you right) that betraying Jesus Christ by Judah, does not make him a bad person or less a man of God. That is very wrong and makes no meaning.

If what he did was not wrong, why did he take his own life. Why are people not especially Christians, Naija for example naming their kids Judas. I could go on and on but I must stop here but to me, your points are baseless.

This write-up is by Abimbola Adebayo, the owner of  www.abimboladebayo.blogspot.com